Is it possible to be this bad at picking sports franchise?

As I sit here in my recliner with a couple of tears streaming down my cheeks (at least 10 Budweiser's deep) I believe it impossible to be as much as a sports loser as I. I dare you to prove me wrong. I honestly believe I am the worlds biggest sports loser ever. It is Wednesday, April 20th, 2011 and the Phoenix Coyotes were just eliminated...from the NHL playoffs and possibly their entire existence! Ahh... a little history might make sense for you at this point....

My name is Smitty, just like half the other assholes with the last name Smith. I really do not think I am a loser, just when it comes to picking sports franchises and them winning. I swear way too much, drink too much beer and you should most certainly not live vicariously through me. I just love sports and believe I am a curse on any team I root for. By the way, I flunked English, Spanish and any other ish that requires grammar or punctuation, so deal with or get lost.

So I will begin with just tonight...The Phoenix Coyotes for the second straight year get knocked out of the Stanley Cup Playoffs due to those bastards in Detroit. Seriously, I know there are no jobs in Detroit so apparently they just all focus on beating Phoenix in Ice Hockey. Never-mind the fact that they are better than the Coyotes and they have history and tradition on their side (a reoccurring theme throughout this blog), the Phx team just failed to even show up. Guess who I root for...yep the Coyotes... I live ten minutes from the soon to be empty barn called Jobbing.com Arena and the Cardinals stadium (no idea right now what bank, insurance company, or rich corporation are paying the AZ Cards at this point to name the stadium)...oh yay, University of Phoenix...dumb. Please que the music for this endless random senseless rant of mine, the first of many. I suggest humming the theme music to jeopardy or cheers, maybe the office - your choice!

Anywhoo, so we got eliminated, again, from the assholes from Detroit, again. It would not be so bad if I didn't work with a great guy names Morgan (names Changed to protect the Assholes/Innocent) who is a huge Detroit Fan. My main beef with Morgan is that he grew up in upstate New York and he some how is a Redwing fan, along with a Steeler Fan, Ohio St, and I think Man U. I think the super heroes were taken the day he picked favorite teams, so I just call him a bandwagon fan to piss him off...usually it works also.

He also got free tickets to Game 3 in a suite and tonights game 4 in row 2 for FREE! So as I watch the game in HD at home (thank god for HD, best thing ever!) he is losing his voice, I can only hope, while sitting in row two in his Redwing Jersey with a broom in his hand....yep, I am going to punch him tomorrow!